Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Oh they have the Internet on Computers now! – Homer Simpson

Somethings you get around to only when you get a "roundtoit." I finally got a "roundtoit" for this one. Subscribers to Cybertelecom News know that I am quote junky and love to decorate newsletters with pithy pontifications. Someone asked about them recently, which led me to wasting an entire evening uploading the quotes to the Cybertelecom website. Hope you enjoy and here is a sample:
"If, while traveling, I send a turn-yourself-off message to my stove and it replies 'Unable to respond due to fire wall,' should I send my garden hose a spray-the-house message?" Steve Cummings, quoted in Journal of the Hyperlinked Organization, June 4, 1998 Source: Isen

"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."—George W Bush, Arlington Heights , Ill. , Oct. 24, 2000

"What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo" – Dave Barry

Oh they have the Internet on Computers now! – Homer Simpson

Kids are the best, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the internet and all. – Homer Simpson

"We could put it on the Internet!"
"No, we have to reach people whose opinions actually matter."
-Bart Simpson

"Will the Highways on the Internet become more few" George W Bush, -CONCORD, N.H., JAN. 29, 2000

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

Spending an evening on the World Wide Web is much like sitting down to a dinner of Cheetos... two hours later your fingers are yellow and you're no longer hungry, but you haven't been nourished. ~Clifford Stoll

"The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other..." - Dave Barry

Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
-Monty Python

"If I taught a class, on my final exam I would take an Internet company and ask [my students], 'How much is this company worth?' Anyone who would answer, I would flunk." Warren Buffett, quoted in the Industry Standard Media Grok, May 5, 1998. Source:

My top men tell me the Internet is going to be big! Daguerreotype big! I've decided to buy this Internet, one domain at a time. -Charles Montgomery Burns

“While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings." – Dave Barry

Words to live by!